Its a sunday..in true sense..i have been waiting to have such a sun-laid back-day from a long time. I have been travelling so much from a month. it seems that I have boarded a lif-elevator which stops only when i need to step out. I can actually feel time travelling with me. Travelling feels good sometimes, because it give time to introspect and gain insight on many things. Since few days, i have been thinking about how God has been such a great creator..or rather 'is'..its so amazing to watch and feel the things around me..right from the smallest of things in life to the biggest ones..so intricately designed and published. Its like all my senses are busy exploring or searching or experiencing the stimulants around me. It feels good. The sand on the road, the texture of my footwear, moisture in the air, the cool breeze (sometimes), various sounds around me, my heartbeats... everything..i feel alive. I get so shit tired by the end of the day..and the best thing is I can feel the tiredness and I can feel the energy level going down and getting recharged. I can understand and feel the change in moods and how i feel..frustration, anger, love, serenity, agitation, sadness, happiness...everything. its so amazing. being a human is amazing.
When i am in the hospital, talking to patients, i realize that all of us are going to disappear one day..we are going to leave this beautiful place and go to a better place (may be)..but the thing is that we were born with nothing and we are going to die with nothing..no amount of money, grudge, hatred, clothes..we are going to die free and it would be so amazing to die free.
other than this..its so strange..that i have always been an introvert..but when i am with the patients, i am so different..especially with kids..Its so fulfilling to talk with them...and sometimes it feels great to be a listener.... people have so many things going on in their life, so many emotions to vent..so many stories..its so amazing to hear what leads to what..and hows strings get attached. it makes me feel that all of us are here with a meaning..with a role to play...with a purpose. I want to do so many things..i just hope i fulfill my role and continue exploring the purpose of my existence.
Anyways, i often wish that there were more hours in a day and night too..life is racing so fast. i am going to be married in 6 months...and i am shit scared and happy at the same time. mixed emotions. there is so much to do..
lets c what tomorrow brings for me...
goodnight for now
take care
Ruchi..
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